So what a long freaking day.
I had three appts: Psychologist then psychiatrist an hour and a half later outreach (basically meal support and practical support).

Psychologist was ok; I'm changing back to the one in my home town over the Summer. I detected a little bit of resentment, but I know she's supposed to be proffessional about it? I pay her enough! But she wouldn't even guarantee that she'll have a spot to see me next year. So whatever.

Right now my biggest hurdle is that my psychiatrist isn't happy with how I'm going. I'm not underweight by any means but he was threatening the public hospital, which has a reputation of being really tough; but also has a great ED program. Downside- he thinks that I'm close to needing tube feeding. I don't understand; I'm eating (admittedly 900cal some days but still more than a lot of people with ED's) so it's not like I can't eat if I'm supported in a program. I've been in the private clinic quite a few times and each time in there have just done what I've needed to, each time I've gotten more confident with my eating too.

What I want to do most of all is do this myself out of hospital. I've been texting friends since I saw him, asking for their advice. I mean I know how to do a 1500 cal mealplan but it seems like such a lot. :( I've been looking at supplements; god they're expensive and something that I've actually managed to avoid in my 3 and a bit years of ED treatment. I've always chosen food over supplements, but now I'm struggling so badly I'm giving in. But giving in in a good way?

Thank god I had outreach after; that woman is amazing. She's tough but compassionate and used to be a nurse on the ED unit so has known me since I first started at the clinic. She gave me some good challenges and made me think a lot.

Ok so I'm off to the gym; I might come back and post later. Hopefully people will start reading soon!!